Socially Us

We, humans, are social creatures. It shall be no surprise to many that from the moment we open our eyes in this world and to the moment we close them we remain in an incessant interaction with our social world.

In fact, experts in human development suggest that in addition to organised learning that is enacted in institutions of learning we, from childhood, model people around us, imitate (and then internalise) how they behave in all sorts of situations which, of course, is regulated by various motivational factors. This has both upsides & downsides.

First the Upsides ...

Who wouldn’t want to have more of rewarding experiences in life? And what better way there can be than by observational learning? Pick people around you whose behaviours get rewarded most of the times. Given the same or similar situations, execute those behaviours and get rewarded. Of course, we are naturally going to pick those people who are more similar to us, and we are going to imitate (or internalise) those behaviours that are going to be rewarding for us (If I don’t have a goal of seeking approval or praise, I won’t do any of the behaviours that are solely bent on seeking approval or praise).

This also explains how behaviours (bad and good - both) get contagious and when we see people we like engaging in some of them we feel it difficult to resist their sway. So, there’s still hope for social reform. In my view, the case for social reform is most strong when it aims at improving those practices that, though maladaptive, have been adopted by people en masse, such as, smoking cigarettes, eating sugary/fatty food etc.

Undoubtedly, social transmission of behaviours is how our human civilisation thrives.

On an individual level, having accountability figures in life foster those behaviours which we associate them with. That’s why having things that remind us of them serve to encourage healthy behaviours.

Now some Downsides ...

“In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.”

— Neitzsche

In spite of how much we, as humans, pride on our reason, we are subject to the sway of irresistible social forces. Why? Because this has ensured our survival as a species and nature has endowed our physiology/biology with mechanisms that regulate us towards more social integration. We feel good when we bond or connect socially. When we are socially rejected, we are anguished and depressed. Social rejection activates the pain centres of our brains. Scientists have found strong correlation between longevity and social relationships. The mirror neurons underpin the human empathy and provide an explanation for the phenomenon of social learning at a much granular level.

Coming back to downsides, it’s important to question whether these social forces are for the better? In human history, we see many precedents where many luminaries had to face social ostracism for their beliefs, views, opinions and stances just because they diverged from the what the society considered moral. What is deemed moral is indefinitely trite and mediocre though safe.

Solution ...

Genetics & Environment make some among us more vulnerable to herd instinct. The vulnerable can be spotted by their anxious attachment style. It’s important to develop a strong sense of self and likewise to have high degree of personal accountability and to normally hold ourselves to high standards. But this doesn’t imply we shouldn’t be social and we won’t feel the pull of social forces this way. I’ll leave you with a beautiful question, which may spur some thinking on your part:

Would you like to be the best in a below-best group of people, or below-best in the best group of people?

References:

How Social Learning Theory Works

Do Mirror Neurons Give Us Empathy?

Is Social Pain Real Pain?

Good genes are nice, but joy is better