# Contrast

As of recent times I have been wondering how we'd fare in a comparison between self confidence and self importance.&#x20;

| Self Confidence                                                                                                 | Self Importance                                                                                                                                                               |
| --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- | ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| It is a measure of belief we have in our abilities and is a function of how much aware we are of our strengths. | It is a measure of social significance and is a function of how we view ourselves and how society views us.                                                                   |
| Contributes to healthy self-esteem.                                                                             | Focuses on external validation.                                                                                                                                               |
| <p>When stressed, there is a dip in self-esteem. We move to problem solving.</p><p></p>                         | When stressed, we get defensive and engage in blame game.                                                                                                                     |
| <p>With a focus on growth, we see goal-pursuit as a learning opportunity.</p><p></p>                            | With a focus on validation, we seek praise disproportionate to contribution.  When not received, we move into mode of conflict and degrade others with an air of entitlement. |
| You are a perpetual masterpiece in progress.                                                                    | There's less room for improvement as we are close to being perfect.  This makes us defensive.                                                                                 |
| We seek honest feedback and work on improvements continuously.                                                  | We seek praise and ego boosts.                                                                                                                                                |
| There is nothing to prove.                                                                                      | <p>We make comparisons all the time. This often leads us to unhealthy competitions.</p><p></p>                                                                                |
| We cultivate harmonious passions. We govern goal pursuit.                                                       | <p>We cultivate obsessive passions.  Our goals control us.</p><p></p>                                                                                                         |
